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©Arlene R. Taylor, PhD

articles200408Some things are tough on relationships, personal and professional, JOT behaviors, for example: Jumping to conclusions; Overreacting; and Taking things personally. They create conflict!

How can you course correct?

By implementing AAA replacement behaviors. What is AAA? A type of relationship assistance on the road of life.

  • A - stands for ASKING questions to clarify the situation instead of jumping to conclusions that may be way off base.
  • A - stands for ACTING calmly as you assess the situation and avoiding an emotional tsunami.
  • A - stands for ALTERING your perception to avoid taking things personally.

Scrutinize yourself for JOT behaviors. You may initially recognize them only in retrospect. For example, when you find yourself in conflict, perhaps having burned a bridge and ruined a relationship.

Evaluate the consequences of those behaviors. Were the outcomes positive or negative? Before long, with constant vigilance—the blueprint for success—you may become mindful of being in the middle of a JOT behavior and course correct. Immediately!

The long-term goal is to catch yourself before you head into a full-blown JOT and decide if you really want to travel that road again. A better choice: implement AAA. Now!

AAA replacement behaviors can reduce conflict in adults, children, and even in tots.

Your brain can only do what it thinks it can do, and it’s your job to tell it what it can do. Talk to your brain as if it is a separate person—which it is, in a way. Stop telling it what NOT to do and tell it only what you want to have happen.

For example: “JD, you choose AAA replacement behaviors. You ask questions. You act calmly. You alter your perception. You are successful.”

Access willpower to help you build AAA replacement behaviors. Although not designed to stop bad behaviors, willpower can help you learn new ones.

Dump JOT. Sign up for AAA.

Could your EQ use a tune-up? Check out Part 6.