Q. Several times I’ve heard you mention how important it is to read aloud and say aloud what we want to do as if we’re already doing it? How in the world can that make a difference, especially with reparenting?

A. Think back to the most functional parent you know. It may have been your own biological parent or a wise mentor or role model. Did that individual talk to you aloud or was he or she just thinking internal thoughts and failing to share them with you? If so, how could that style of communication possibly be of help to you?

As you reparent yourself, raise your emotional intelligence, and bust your brains bad behaviors—a critical strategy is the ability to recall the information to which you are exposed and to apply that information in a practical manner. In general you are more or less likely to recall information based on the way in which you receive it.

For example, you tend to remember:

  • 10% of what you read
  • 20% of what you hear
  • 30% of what you see
  • 50% of what you both see and hear
  • 80% of what you say
  • 90% of what you act upon

Take time to write out your affirmation. Read aloud so you say and hear the words. My brain’s opinion is that when you add together what you read (10%), plus what you hear (20%), and what you say (80%), you powerfully increase the likelihood of being able to recall the information.

Recalling the information is step one. Acting upon it is step two. Reading aloud is so powerful that it has now become an anti-aging strategy with recommendations to read aloud a minimum of ten minutes a day. Use that reading-aloud time to your best advantage, writing out and reading aloud the affirmations that are guiding your behaviors. Then use your willpower to follow through on what you now picture in your mind’s eye.