Q. I recently remarried after being single for nearly 20 years. The man I married is warm and caring, and tells me every day how much he loves me. But I don't believe it because he calls or texts his 97-year-old mother every day. That makes me feel like I'm not the most important woman in his life.

A. My brain's initial response is, "How thoughtful." At age 97 she won't be around for too many more years and his daily contact probably really brightens up her day. The way a man treats his mother can be a good indicator of how he will treat the woman he marries. His relationship with his mother is "his" and really is none of your business unless it results in something really egregious that negatively impacts you. Secondly, your feelings follow your thoughts. If you want to change the way you feel you must change the way you think.

My guess is that you're stuck in the Scarcity Model; a mindset that believes there isn't enough of something to go around and that you will be left holding the short straw (versus an Abundance Model mindset). In one sense life is about supply and demand (e.g., take the prices of gasoline). However, when misapplied, this mindset can negatively impact one's life in a myriad of different ways from finances to education and from self-care to believing there isn't enough love to go around. When it is tied to a low level of self-esteem, a scarcity-model mentality can be lethal in relationships. For example:

A person perceives there isn't enough love to go around so tries to compete with the attention the person's partner gives to his/her family, which creates jealousy and hurt feelings and can eventually sour the relationship (meaning "unless my partner loves me more than anyone else, and spends time with me exclusively, I'm unworthy" instead of recognizing that there any many types of love and competition for "love" is disempowering). Most people have plenty of love for parents, grandparents, siblings, children, close friends, and so on.

A child believes there isn't enough food to go around (which may have been true at one point in childhood) and so develops a pattern of overeating, ingesting far more food at a sitting than is really needed "in case" there isn't enough at the next meal

Recovery begins with believing that you are valuable simply because you exist; that sufficient resources do exist; and that you have what you need or that you are able to get what you need. Embrace the Abundance Model mindset that says the human heart can stretch very wide and contain a huge amount of love. More and more websites are offering tips on dealing with a scarcity-model mentality. You might check out this example from "O Magazine" to get you started.