Q: I am somewhat regularly subjected to prejudice because I am in a cross-cultural relationship. We are very happy together, but when the two families are together there is an undertone of prejudice that sometimes isn’t kept in the “undertone.” Sometimes it erupts in arguing about which “race” is better and right in from of the kids. I find it drains my energy. What can I do? We’ve talked about each of us spending time with our own family, maybe a short visit once a week so we are not altogether at the same time. The problem is, I’d like our three children to know both sides of who they are.

A: Tough choice. However, if one side puts the kids down because they are biracial, seeing that side of the family is still going to be hurtful and energy draining for whichever parent takes the children. You will need to consider how the undertone of prejudice is impacting the children. Are you able to help them see it for what it is and help them learn how to deal with it? If not, maybe you two as parents need to visit each family, explain how their prejudice is harming their grandchildren and give them a choice: clean up their act or visits will be infrequent. A good counselor could no doubt give you some helpful options.

According to Dr. Wayne Dyer, every activity has an energy field. Avoid low-energy fields where there's excessive alcohol, drug consumption, or violent behavior.  Also, avoid gatherings where ethnic or religious exclusions and virtriolic prejudice or judgment are the focus. Immerse yourself in nature and commit to helping others in need with visits to the elderly in geriatric centers, etc. (Dyer, Wayne W,, PhD. The Power of Intention. pp. 76-78. CA: Hay House, Inc., 2004)

Studies have shown that spending time at oceans, beaches, mountains, or parks, and around fields of green or trees can help you gain energy, nature being a powerful energy source.  (Gordon, Jon, M.A. Become an Energy Addict. pp. 10-11. GA: Longstreet Press, 2003)

One of my favorite quotes says: “You are not obligated to attend every argument to which you are invited....