Realizations Inc

Q:  Recently we took our 10-year-old daughter and 8-year-old son to an ice skating extravaganza. They loved the athletes. At one point my daughter turned to me and said, "I want to marry that skater when I grow up." I smiled and replied, "Maybe you can get to do something like that." A few minutes later my son pointed to a another male skater, who had just executed a flawless quad, and said, "When I grow up I want to marry him." I sat there stunned and could not think of a thing to say. Do you think my son is gay and knows that already? What would you have said?

Q. How and when does templating for sexual orientation occur in the brain?

Q: A parishioner recently contacted me for help in understanding her son who “says he is gay.” The youngest of four children and the second son, the woman claims he has “always been more like my daughter since birth” than like his older brother. I’ve always been taught that sexual orientation was a flat-out choice and anyone could choose to be either straight or gay. Now I’m beginning to wonder.

Q. My wife and I have two sons: one biological and one adopted. Turns out both of them are gay. Go figure! My wife, who recently read “The Secret,” keeps saying she’s sure they could be straight if they’d just choose to believe they were. Somehow I don’t think so....

Q. Do you know of any research related to change therapies or conversion therapies for gays or bisexuals or other ways to treat this mental disorder?

Q. President’s Day (begun in 1796 to commemorate George Washington’s birthday) has always been a huge celebration in our home. Not just because we all admire George Washington. It’s our wedding anniversary, my birthday, and our daughter’s birthday. My daughter just told us she is lesbian. She wants us to celebrate President’s Day as usual but I’m wondering whether we should just cancel for this year. What do you think?

Q. Why haven’t you addressed the gay gene in your Q&As? Has no one asked that question, or are you just avoiding it?

Q. How are the issues that gay males say they face in society different from those that all males face? I don't understand this!

Q. My daughter insists she's gay. She must be lying because her father and I are straight, so how could she be gay? I've told her to just use her willpower to be straight; but when I say, "Don't think about women and those things," her reply is, "That doesn't work." So what's wrong here?

Q: I have heard that you can tell whether an individual is gay or straight by the length of his or her ring finger. Is that true?

Q. I enjoy your Q&As, but I’m wondering why you haven’t just come out and said what causes a brain to NOT be heterosexual? It seems as if you’re dancing around that issue.

Q. Our 23-year-old middle son just "came out." His father is absolutely livid and says it's all my fault because "you had the fetus last." He now wants nothing to do with our son and is actually considering filing for divorce.

Q: What causes a child to grow up straight versus gay or bisexual?

Q. Did you hear about the young man who recently committed suicide because of harassment for reportedly not being straight? Don’t his tormentors bear some responsibility for his death?

Q. My theological training has resulted in my belief that homosexuals must be asexual in order to be saved. We all read the same Bible but a few of my colleagues differ in their beliefs. Which position represents the truth?

Q: I am unable to even have a conversation with people who "do it" differently from straights. For my part, I wish they would all just disappear. I feel really ill when I think about it; yet I can't seem to stop thinking about it!