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©Arlene R. Taylor PhD Realizations Inc
Managing emotions optimally is a learned skill. Many didn’t learn that skill growing up because their caregivers/role models didn’t have that skill (and human beings can only teach what they know).
Children learn their first skills related to identify, using, and managing emotions by observing their caregivers and role models. If yours were highly functional in terms of managing their emotions, you may have gotten a jump-start on the process. If that was not the case, there is work to do! It may even involve some reparenting.
Following are examples of the way in which individuals might approach emotions based on innate brain.
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Left Frontal Lobe
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Right Frontal Lobe
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Individuals with their energy advantage in this division tend to be somewhat oblivious to emotion in both the self and in others
- Don’t read nonverbals well (may lack easy access to the Right Posterior Lobes)
- Perceive emotion as a potential loss of control so may be threatened by them
- May express anger easily when stressed, when attempts at goal attainment is thwarted, or when they cannot be in charge and make decisions
- May express emotion through criticism, biting wit, and blowing up
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Individuals with their energy advantage in this division tend to perceive emotion in the self but may not read nonverbals easily in others
- Generally gravitate toward change so are less likely to be threatened by emotions
- May express frustration and anger when opportunity for variety and innovation is lacking or when they are forced to follow detailed rules and regulations
- May express emotion through gestures (e.g., tears, large motor movements, laughter) , whole body position, prosody, humor, drama, stories
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Left Posterior Lobes
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Right Posterior Lobes
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Individuals with their energy advantage in this division tend to avoid emotions when possible
- Doesn’t read nonverbals well
- Perceives emotions as potentially disruptive to the status quo
- May maintain an emotion out of habit or the emotion most often experienced
- Expresses emotion habitually and minimally
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Individuals with their energy advantage in this division tend to perceives emotion in the self and in others
- Sensitive to emotions in nature
- Reads nonverbal body language easily in others and in nature
- Often mirrors emotions back to others
- Expresses emotion through affective speech, tonality, drama, stories, nonverbals (e.g., touch, body position, small motor gestures, facial expressions)
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Managing Emotions and Feelings
You are in a much better position to make conscious choices about the way in which you want to manage your emotions and feelings, the actions you decide to take, and the behaviors you choose to exhibit when you:
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Have identified your emotional history, including the emotional atmosphere(s) experienced during childhood and adolescence
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Are able to differentiate between emotions and feelings, theoretically and practically
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Understand some of the factors that have contributed to your present emotional tone
With practice, you can learn to identify and experience all emotions, choose appropriate actions—sometimes the appropriate action is to do nothing—and talk him/herself through the process of moving back to joy. You can hone the skill of processing an event with an emotional component, especially one that involves an overreaction, quickly and consciously. You can talk yourself through the process; you can teach the strategy to young children. And it can be fun!
For additional information, refer to Brain References: Emotions and Feelings and to Taylor’s Articles: The Emotions Staircase, If a Child Can.
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